DEAR SANTA

I have never believed in Christmas. Ever. Each year I promise myself that I will try to see the positive. And each I fail in that quest. I tend to keep to myself and Christmas spirit and whatnot tends to interfere with that. I love being on my own, not that I don’t appreciate my friends and family but I am at my best when left alone.

Last year I almost succeeded in seeing the very positive of that season. Almost. But you turned my world upside down; you made it a living hell. I hear there are 12 days of Christmas. To me they just happened to be 12 days of living hell. I’m not sure that I will ever forgive you for it. May be in time I will but for now, I don’t want you anywhere near me. Matter of fact, I don’t believe in you either.

How could you?! Damn it how dare you?! I lost TWO brothers! And to make it worse, they died months apart. I never got the chance to get over one before the other soon followed. I needed at least a heads up to prepare myself. They meant the world to me and I wanted time with them. May be, just a little bit of time to let them know that I cared deeply for them. You didn’t give me that. And do you know what make it even worse; it was during the bloody Christmas season!

Since we have made it obvious that you don’t give a damn about me, this year make an exception. This year I want happiness. Peace of mind and a chance to smile and actually mean it. Do you think you are capable of that? At all?