SOMETIMES
Sometimes I want to run, just start running and keep running till I overrun all my problems. I want to run to where no one knows me and nothing is expected of me. Run and chase after freedom if at all it even exists. I am just so tired of waking up each day and finding that nothing has changed at all, the problems are still there and everyone expects you to offer a solution.
Sometimes when no one is looking I scream at the top of my lungs, because it is all too much. I cry a lot on the inside because I’m afraid if I let the tears fall on the outside, I won’t be able to stem the flow. There’s a river, even an ocean of tears in me, they at times help me drown my sorrows and pain. Sometimes I pinch myself so hard to keep myself from crying.
Sometimes in my deepest desires, I want to live alone on an island. I won’t notice the isolation, or the loneliness because I am used to being alone most of the time. Strange but I always feel alone even in the middle of a crowd. It saddens me that I keep to myself but I have to because the thing about spending time with yourself is that, you get to know and understand yourself better. And you end up finding that your company is the only sane thing that keeps you from losing it.
Sometimes I’m afraid that I need help and I don’t really know how to ask for it. Other times I’m scared because I feel like I just have too many problems to share with anyone and that even if I do, they won’t help me at all. Sometimes, and this terrifies me, I want to be somebody else.
Touching. Brilliant, just like i have known….