Hey Baby,

I want to say goodbye to you, now, while I still can. There’s this void in my life, this empty hole where my heart should be. And I’ve reached that stage where I can’t take it any more. I know I’m strong, we both know that. It’s just that I’m not strong enough for both of us. In this I have to be selfish. I have to be strong for just ME.

I love you, I really do. I have been in love with you for so long that I feel like I was born already in love with you. It is for that reason that I have to leave. I have to go while I’m still in love, because if I stay any longer then my love for you will grow into something awful and unpleasant between us. It might even grow into something worse than hate.

I gave you time to heal, time to move on with me. But it seems all these fears you have are crippling you and holding you back. I gave you enough time to see the kind of person I am, but it’s as if you’ve blinded yourself to me. I told you in words and action that I would never hurt, never cause you pain, but you refuse to listen and see what is right in front of you. It’s like you are too caught up in the past to see the present and the beautiful future we might have together.

I have to leave with the memory of my love for you still strong in my heart. You need someone other than me. You need something that I cannot offer. I am not strong enough to live with just my love for you. I need love in return, and we both know you would never give me that. I know you are capable of love, I’ve seen it in your eyes before. You are just not capable of loving me. The only time you look at me with love in your eyes is when you are hurt and you need me to take the pain away. I can’t do it anymore. Loving you was never easy and it has taken its toll on me.

I am not saying this so you can love. I’m saying all this so that I can free my heart. So I can free both of us. I’m wishing you life and the best it has to offer. But most of all, I’m wishing you wisdom to recognize love when it knocks at your door.

Kisses,
J.

~ by Joyce on July 1, 2010.